How to Embrace Your Masculine Energy (in a World That Demonizes It)

If we're being honest, masculinity has gotten a bad rep lately. And in some ways, it’s justified: the wounded masculine has undeniably caused deep harm, something we have come to know as 'toxic masculinity'.

But how did we end up there? For decades, the cultural script was loud and clear: men were expected to always "man up," stay strong, hide their feelings, and prove themselves through success or toughness. No space for tenderness here.

But that's not what masculinity is. In its essence, it couldn't be further from domination, hustle, or "alpha male" ideals.

Looking at it through a deeper, more holistic lens, masculine energy is not toxic by nature. In fact, it can be profoundly healing. At its core, it is steady and empowering.

And: it’s not reserved for men. Masculine energy exists in all of us.

What is masculine energy?

Masculine energy is the counterpart to the feminine – one of two opposing forces believed to shape all of life and every human being. Just like feminine energy, it lives within all of us, regardless of gender.

The masculine principle is also called the divine masculine, yang, shiva, or solar energy. It is the energy that directs, protects, and provides.

Typical masculine energy traits

When speaking of masculine energy, we usually refer to traits like:

• Clarity and logic
• Doing over being
• Structure and discipline
• Focus and direction
• Leadership
• Protection
• Providing and giving
• Firm boundaries
• Stability and strength
• Action and execution

While technically, everyone can cultivate these traits, our culture often rewards these qualities in men while discouraging them in women. That's part of the reason why men often default to their masculine energy, and women to their feminine.

Still, as both energies are in everyone, many expressions are possible. So if you are a man identifying more with the feminine, or a woman with more masculine energy, that's perfectly alright.

The important part: anyone, regardless of gender, can (and should) get in touch with their masculine energy and use it in everyday life for more clarity, direction, and grounded presence.

5 myths about masculine energy

Just like feminine energy, masculine energy often gets misrepresented and distorted. Before we dive into how we can actively embrace this energy, let's clarify what it is not.

#1 Masculine energy is NOT only for men

It’s no wonder people get confused about these. For one, the words male and masculine are almost identical and often used interchangeably. On top of that, our culture still expects men to naturally express traits linked with masculinity, while women are expected to embody the feminine, which is also reflected in many of the surface-level reels/TikTok videos we see on this topic.

While some masculine/feminine traits do find themselves mirrored in biology, realistically, the majority of it is social conditioning. As a spiritual concept, masculine energy lives in everyone, regardless of their gender.

Very likely, we need to shift the language to get rid of this misconception, using terms like yang or solar energy more often.

#2 Masculine energy is NOT superior or dominant

Just like the feminine isn't weak or subordinate, the masculine isn't "above" or "more important". Centuries of patriarchal culture have reinforced this idea, but it hasn't served us well. The result is a collective imbalance where the masculine is glorified and the feminine dismissed.

Its true role is to complement the feminine, not dominate it. It's like the sun and the moon – both are needed for life to flourish. One without the other throws everything out of balance.

Healthy masculine energy doesn’t suppress or overpower. Instead, it provides clarity, direction, and protection so the feminine can flourish. And in turn, the feminine nourishes, inspires, and softens the masculine, preventing it from becoming rigid or destructive.

#3 Masculine energy is NOT inherently toxic

What we’re really witnessing in the world is not the masculine itself, but its wounded, unbalanced expression. Toxicity shows up when masculine traits are taken to an extreme, cut off from the feminine, or rooted in fear and insecurity. That’s when strength turns into domination, discipline into control, and leadership into abuse of power.

Divine masculine energy, on the other hand, is a positive force. It creates structure, sets boundaries, and takes responsibility. It empowers others rather than dominating them.

Healing means reclaiming the healthy masculine and learning how it can move in partnership with the (equally healthy) feminine. They represent two opposing forces that cannot thrive without the other: within yourself, and on a collective level, as we balance each other out.

#4 Masculine energy does NOT mean suppressing emotions

After World War II, Western culture doubled down on the idea of men as stoic breadwinners, expected to provide, protect, and achieve, often at the cost of their emotional expression. This is why many people still believe that embracing masculine energy means shutting down emotions and rejecting the feminine altogether.

But as we’ve already explored, these forces are meant to work hand in hand. If you lean only into the masculine, it will cost you your emotional well-being, inflicting pain on yourself and others. If you lean only into the feminine, you may find yourself ungrounded or abused emotionally.

Neither extreme is healthy. The real power lies in integration: letting the masculine and feminine complement each other.

#5 Masculine energy is NOT just about hustling

The last myth I'd like to dissolve is this one: Masculine energy being only about work and making money. It's true, our modern economy is largely built on masculine principles: structure, linear growth, competition, and focus. Business models reward doing more, scaling bigger, and pushing harder: all qualities that reflect the yang side of life.

The problem arises when we build entire systems around masculine principles while neglecting the balancing feminine ones (hello rest, intuition, collaboration, are you there?). An economy that honors only the masculine ends up burning through people and resources.

While the (balanced) masculine does serve us well in achieving our goals and creating progress, it is not only centered around work. We also need this energy in our private lives, whenever we are protecting ourselves and our loved ones, acting with integrity, or setting boundaries.

Why we need (healthy) masculine energy

When we neglect or dismiss masculine energy, we tend to lose grounding or direction. This can look like jumping from idea to idea without ever finishing, talking about your dreams but never acting on them, or getting stuck in emotions without knowing what to do next. Over time, that lack of direction leaves you feeling unfulfilled and unable to turn inspiration into something real.

Everyone needs at least some proportion of masculine energy. It serves us in creating stability and taking aligned action. We can harness it protect what matters, stay accountable to our values, and create safe containers where growth and creativity can flourish.

Embracing your masculine energy can help you to:

• gain clarity and focus
• follow through on your goals with consistency
• create healthy boundaries
• cultivate discipline and self-respect
• take action with courage and confidence
• lead with integrity and responsibility
• provide protection and safety for yourself and others
• turn dreams and ideas into reality

Signs of underdeveloped masculine energy

Just as many of us spend too much time in our masculine energy, it’s also possible to lean too heavily into the feminine. Sometimes this happens as a way of avoiding pressure or responsibility, or from being overly identified with emotions and relationships. 

To be clear, there is nothing wrong with primarily expressing yin energy, unless it comes at the expense of integrating the yang altogether. Balancing the feminine and masculine is what allows us to thrive: fluidly moving between the two as life asks.

Here are 11 signs you might be lacking masculine energy:

• You struggle to take action and often feel stuck in indecision.
• You over-give in relationships and have difficulty setting boundaries.
• You avoid conflict at all costs, even when your needs aren’t being met.
• You are highly emotional but feel overwhelmed or consumed by your feelings.
• You find it hard to follow through on projects or goals.
• You rely on others for direction or stability.
• You prioritize harmony so much that you suppress your own truth.
• You tend to be passive, waiting for life to happen rather than creating it.
• You lose yourself in others and neglect your own needs.
• You feel disconnected from your sense of purpose or direction.
• You struggle to hold structure in your daily life, leading to chaos or stagnation.

Does this sound familiar? Leaning too far into the feminine can feel safe at first: softer, less pressured, more connected. But without the balance of masculine energy, it often leads to people giving up their agency.

Gentleness and flow reach their full power when they’re paired with healthy boundaries and taking action. Inviting in your masculine energy isn’t about losing your softness; it’s about giving your creativity and intuition the container they need to thrive. That’s where a deeper sense of wholeness begins to take root.

What is the wounded masculine?

The wounded masculine refers to the distortions that emerge when masculine energy is disconnected from balance with the feminine. It is the result of cultural conditioning, unresolved trauma, and generations of patriarchal systems that glorify dominance, control, and achievement while neglecting emotional presence and relational depth.

The wounded masculine can manifest in a variety of ways, for example:

• aggression, domination, or violence
• obsession with status, power, or productivity
• emotional suppression and disconnection
• rigid control or perfectionism
• fear of vulnerability or tenderness
• hyper-independence and inability to receive support
• exploitation of others or disregard for community and nature

At its root lies the core belief that masculinity must equal power and invulnerability. If we buy into this distortion, it fuels behaviors that harm not only individuals but also society and the planet as a whole.

Healing the wounded masculine means making peace with the feminine and reclaiming healthier expressions of strength: protection without domination, leadership with integrity, discipline rooted in self-love, and presence that makes space for others to thrive.

How to embrace your masculine energy

Whether you’re naturally action-oriented or just starting to explore this side of yourself, there are many ways to connect with the masculine. We activate this energy whenever we practice habits that create structure and move our life forward.

Here are some suggestions for increasing your masculine energy:

• set clear goals and follow through on them
• create structure in your day (routines, schedules, or rituals)
• practice discipline and consistency (but make sure it comes from a place of self-love; not punishment)
• cultivate focus by working without distractions for set periods of time
• take initiative: start the conversation, make the decision, move things forward
• strengthen your body and mind and show yourself what you are capable of
• practice assertive, honest communication and boundary-setting
• take responsibility for your choices and commitments
• lead with integrity, whether in small groups or bigger projects
• use logic and reasoning to problem-solve
• create space between feeling and reaction, e.g. by taking a step back when emotions feel overwhelming
• protect your time and energy by saying “no” when needed
• hold space for others by listening fully and staying present
• act on your ideas instead of waiting for the “perfect moment”

This should give you a great place to start, but if you have any questions on masculine energy and how to embrace it, feel free to comment below!

As a woman who feels very much at home in her masculine energy, I can honestly say I have come to see it as a gift, not something to be ashamed of or suppress. The problem was never the masculine itself, but the way we’ve misunderstood and distorted it.

I hope this post helped to clarify that masculine energy is not a "bad" thing. In its healthy form, it’s a beautiful, steady, grounding force that can help us show up in the world with clarity and integrity.

And especially when we learn to embrace it alongside the feminine, we become unstoppable. ✨