How to Embrace Your Feminine Energy (in a Masculine World)

For years, I leaned heavily on masculine energy, so much so that I rarely allowed my emotions to surface. Because showing any vulnerability would be the end of me, right? I could relate very little to the concept of feminine energy, yet somehow never felt woman enough.

Because at the same time, I was bombarded with the message that a woman had to be "feminine", act "girly", push aside her intellect, wear pretty dresses and make-up, and care about little more than being appealing to men.

Is that femininity?! I‘ll be honest with you: I am heartbroken that a lot of the discourse on feminine energy still circles superficial topics like style and seduction, many of them reinforcing a very problematic image of femininity and reducing women to their appearance or sexuality.

Looking at it through a more holistic lens, feminine energy is so much bigger, and infinitely powerful. Maybe you are familiar with the duality of yin and yang – that comes much closer to the truth about feminine energy.

And behind it lies a spiritual concept that – surprise – does not only relate to women.

What is feminine energy?

Feminine energy is one of the two great forces believed to flow through all of life – and through each of us. Just as night and day, or inhaling and exhaling exist together, so too do the feminine and masculine. 

The feminine principle is also called the divine feminine, yin, shakti, or lunar energy. It is the energy that nurtures, feels, and expresses.

Typical feminine energy traits

When speaking of feminine energy, we usually refer to traits like:

• Empathy and compassion
• Being over doing
• Intuition
• Creativity
• Nurturing
• Receptivity
• Collaboration and community building
• Emotional intelligence
• Alignment with nature and its cycles
• Focus on relationships

Looking at this definition, you’ll notice that gender is not implied. Still, our culture often rewards these qualities in women while disregarding or even punishing them in men.

While both energies exist in everyone, many of us naturally lean toward one more than the other. Men often default to their masculine energy, and women to their feminine. This isn’t a rule (I’d count myself among the many exceptions) but a general tendency shaped by upbringing, culture, and personality. There is nothing wrong with being more "feminine" as a man, or more "masculine" as a woman – if we truly see it as a spiritual concept rather than regurgitated gender stereotypes.

Moral of the story: Anyone, regardless of gender, can (and should) get in touch with their feminine energy and use it in everyday life for more healing, inner guidance, and nurturing.

5 myths about feminine energy (that need to stop)

Before we go any further, let’s clear up some common misconceptions about feminine energy. This topic often gets distorted, and I want to offer a clearer understanding, one that doesn’t reduce our inner power to stereotypes.

#1 Feminine energy is NOT only for women

I‘ll be honest, it does make sense that people get confused. I would attribute this to two reasons:

• female and feminine are very similar words and are often used interchangeably
• in our society, we (still) expect women to have qualities that align with feminine energy and expect men to express more masculine energy
• much of the content online teaches women to step into their feminine (looking at you, TikTok), but not men

Yes, many (not all) women do indeed naturally display more feminine qualities. But is that biological? Or social conditioning?

In reality, all people have a blend of these energies within them, regardless of their gender identity. Maybe changing the language around the concept would help. Personally, I like calling it yin or lunar energy – it is a more neutral wording that we can all relate to.

#2 Feminine energy is NOT weak

In a world celebrating masculinity, the feminine has often been viewed as weak. To this day, many men are afraid to open up to their emotions and show vulnerability because it is considered ‚feminine‘ and thus negative.

Well, I‘ve got news for you: feminine energy can be incredibly powerful and transformative. The healed feminine has boundaries (and we all know how important those are). We can use our intuition to make better decisions, tap into our creativity to solve problems in innovative ways, and connect with others and ourselves on a deeper level.

The masculine without the feminine is nothing. In short, embracing our yin energy can help us become the best versions of ourselves. For personal and societal transformation, we need to integrate both and balance feminine and masculine energy to avoid extremes.

#3 Feminine energy is NOT subordinate to masculine energy

The idea that feminine energy is subordinate to masculine energy is a deeply ingrained cultural myth that has persisted for centuries. This misconception is based on the false belief that masculine qualities like strength, power, and dominance are superior to feminine qualities like nurturing, empathy, and intuition.

In reality, they are simply two different aspects of the same whole, and both are essential for creating a balanced and harmonious life.

When we buy into the misconception that masculine energy is superior, we can end up neglecting our feminine energy and missing out on all the gifts that it has to offer.

Together, we create magic.

#4 Feminine energy is NOT passive

The misconception that feminine energy is passive or submissive is not only incorrect, but it can be outright dangerous. We don’t want spirituality to reinforce harmful gender stereotypes that contribute to abuse and violence against women and marginalized groups.

Someone passive or submissive may be viewed as less deserving of respect and autonomy, creating an unhealthy power dynamic where the person with more perceived power feels entitled to exert control. This can also lead to ignoring or dismissing signs of mistreatment.

While it’s true that feminine energy is receptive and open, it’s far from passive. A healthy connection to the yin includes firm boundaries and the ability to stand up for ourselves and others.

#5 Feminine energy is NOT incompatible with success

The world of business is (still) defined by patriarchal structures. It celebrates and rewards primarily masculine traits like ambition, assertiveness, and competitiveness.

Ultimately, this led a lot of professionals to suppress their feminine energy. It exposes a deep-rooted fear that leading with gentleness and intuition will have us judged as incompetent, weak, or overly emotional. And what do we get from this? A whole lot of burnout, hustle culture, and a rise in mental health issues.

Contrary to what was long believed, embracing feminine energy can be a powerful tool for success, as it allows us to tap into our creativity and emotional intelligence to make more informed and holistic decisions. Luckily, we are finally starting to see some more appreciation for feminine leadership.

Why we need feminine energy

When we prioritize masculine energy over feminine energy, we create a world that is imbalanced and out of harmony. This can lead to a focus on competition over collaboration, control over connection, and individualism over community. These imbalances can create harm to ourselves, others, and the planet we live on.

Feminine energy is an essential and valuable part of our human experience. We harness it to create a more compassionate and inclusive world as well as to take better care of our emotional and spiritual health.

Embracing your feminine energy can help you to:

• make more meaningful connections
• develop deeper self-awareness and compassion
• find meaning and purpose
• embrace vulnerability as strength
• heal from past trauma and pain
• make a positive impact in our communities
• express creativity
• accept and work with the natural cycles of life

Signs of underdeveloped feminine energy

As a result of how our world is structured, a lot of us spend a bit too much time in our masculine energy. Sometimes, we are just trying to protect ourselves but there is potential harm to it.

Let me clarify, is no problem with having primarily masculine energy – as long as we do not shut out the feminine completely. As with everything in the universe, there needs to be a certain balance.

Ideally, we would experience an equilibrium between the two energies and be able to shift fluidly between them as needed.

11 signs you might be lacking feminine energy:

1. You are overly competitive and driven to succeed at all costs.
2. You have difficulty relaxing and find it hard to disconnect from work or other obligations.
3. You dismiss your emotions and intuition when making decisions.
4. You have a tendency to be aggressive or confrontational in your communication style.
5. You struggle with vulnerability and find it hard to share your emotions with others.
6. You have a need for control and cannot surrender or let go.
7. You struggle to receive pleasure and be intimate.
8. You are disconnected from your physical body.
9. You struggle with relationships and find it hard to connect with others on an emotional level.
10. You have a tendency to judge yourself and others harshly.
11. You feel a sense of burnout or exhaustion from constantly pushing yourself.

Is that you? As a woman with a lot of masculine energy, I feel you. While a lot of that yang energy does serve me, I had to actively work to unravel the aspects of it that were doing me a disservice.

When I allowed myself to recognize the strength in vulnerability, started fostering meaningful connections more, and dreamed up big creative projects, I finally started feeling a sense of wholeness I had been missing.

It‘s been a beautiful journey of softening and, if you feel called, I can only encourage you to explore your feminine side.

What is the wounded feminine?

The wounded feminine is a term that refers to the collective pain, trauma, and oppression experienced by women and those who identify with their feminine energy. It is a result of centuries of patriarchal structures, gender-based violence, and cultural expectations that have devalued and marginalized feminine qualities and ways of being.

The wounded feminine can manifest in a variety of ways, for example:

• low self-esteem and insecurity
• victim mentality
• lack of boundaries and passivity
• self-sabotage and manipulative behavior
• codependency and neediness
• a sense of disconnection from your feelings or intuition
• emotional trauma (including sexual abuse and domestic violence)

Underneath it all lies the core belief that femininity is wrong and a sign of weakness. Needless to say, this can be incredibly challenging to heal from because those patterns are still deeply ingrained in cultural and societal norms.

However, we can actively recognize the existence of the wounded feminine and work to heal it. Also as a collective, we benefit from valuing and uplifting nurturing qualities and ways of being, supporting survivors of gender-based violence, and challenging patriarchal structures and cultural expectations that perpetuate the wounded feminine.

How to embrace your feminine energy

Whether you’re looking to strengthen your existing yin energy or exploring this aspect of yourself for the first time, there are numerous ways to tap into the feminine.

Especially when we focus on habits and activities that cultivate a sense of intuition and connection, our feminine energy tends to thrive.

Here are some suggestions for increasing your feminine energy:

• take time to rest and recharge
• connect with nature
• practice mindfulness (breathwork, journaling, meditation, …)
• express your emotions and learn to communicate non-violently
• join a women’s / men’s circle where you can connect and express yourself freely
• engage in creative activities (painting, singing, writing, dancing, …)
• focus on community
• practice empathy and active listening
• allow yourself to receive
• slow down: move intentionally, take deep belly breaths
• create a sacred space for yourself
• practice gratitude
• spend time exploring and connecting with your body
• listen to your inner voice when making decisions
• start flowing instead of forcing

Most of these are probably straightforward enough, but if you have any questions about feminine energy and how to embrace it, feel free to comment below!

Whenever discussing feminine energy with others, I can’t help but feel inspired by the beauty and power of this energy. It’s a force that has been misunderstood and undervalued for far too long, but we are now at a time where we can embrace it fully and use it to create a better world for ourselves and those around us.

So let’s celebrate our feminine energy and honor its wisdom ✨