My Slow, "Feminine" Morning Routine (And Why I Swear By It)

I should start with a confession: I'm not really a routine kind of person – at all. So when I speak about morning routines, I don't mean the whole wake up at 5:30, lemon water at 5:40, head to the gym by 6:00 am hustle. I’ve tried that kind of strict schedule before but, if we're being honest, it kinda made me hate life.

I guess that's the first lesson of building a routine that works for you: Don't go against your natural rhythms. If you are that kind of person who thrives on those kinds of mornings, more power to you. But I know that for many of us, that's just not the case. We crave slow.

So when I say I have a slow, feminine morning routine, I don't mean a checklist that leads me to start my day already feeling behind. It's more that I've arranged my life in a way that allows me to start the day without stress, keeping my nervous system safe and grounded.

Traditional productivity routines are very masculine in their essence: structured, timed, efficiency-focused. Go, go, go. They can be motivating and work beautifully for some people, but if you’re already feeling overwhelmed, adding more pressure to your days rarely brings relief. That's why you also won't find any "do exactly this, this, and this" kind of tips here, because I don't want you to think there is only one right way to start your day.

A feminine routine is highly personal. It requires asking: What feel good to you? What lets you start your day without feeling rushed? If you're in a season of healing and reconnecting, "feminine" mornings invite the slowness you need to soften and feel safe before you encounter the challenges of the day.

And you know what? I didn't really plan out this kind of routine, like I would have in the past following traditional self-help advice. It kind of emerged naturally, as a result of a deeper connection with my body and intuition.

So, let me show you what my personal feminine morning routine looks like, what it has done for me, and how you can shape your own based on what your body and soul need.

What my slow, "feminine" morning routine looks like

(By the way, this kind of routine works for women and men. When I say feminine, I mean the energy of ease. Yin. The part of us that slows down and nourishes our inner world. Anyone with a nervous system (so… all of us?) benefits from starting the day feeling relaxed, not rushed. I mostly call it a feminine morning routine not because of gender but because it's what people tend to type into Google... maybe that's how you ended up here, too 😉)

1. I honor my circadian rhythm

For the past five years, I’ve been waking up without an alarm clock almost every day. And I know that it's a huge privilege; not everyone has the life circumstances to do this. But it's one of the most supportive choices I've made for my nervous systems, and my mornings feel noticeably different because of it.

Why? In the mornings, cortisol naturally spikes. That's healthy and normal: it's supposed to wake us up and get us moving. The problem is that, when we don't wake up naturally, our alarm can disrupt deep sleep phases, so we jolt awake. We don't call it alarm clock for no reason, it feels like an alarm to the body. (That's also why morning anxiety is so common.)

Personally, I need a lot of sleep. Anything under 7 hours is a nightmare, 8 is good, 9 is better, especially when I worked out the day before or I'm on my period. So yes, I am fully claiming my right to rest. I love my grandma hours: I prefer going to bed early, and I make sure to not disrupt my sleep cycle too much with blue light in the evenings. 

Our modern life disrupts how we are supposed to sleep in many ways: wake up with the sunrise, go the bed when it gets dark. On my adventures, I often tent-camp, and it's one of my favorite ways to regulate my circadian rhythm back to how it's supposed to. A few days in the wild and off modern media do wonders for our sleep cycle.

2. I (try to) keep my brain healthy

By now, we all know phones mess with our brains, right? Still, it's hard to resist the temptation of checking your phone first thing in the morning. That's why I also say "I try", because I'm not 100% perfect on this one. Still, I feel a noticeable difference on the days I don't immediately reach for my phone.

Information overload is real. When we wake up, our brain isn't even fully "online" yet; so literally putting it online right away and bombarding it with a million notifications and fast-paced input is the opposite of what we want.

On the mornings I'm on my phone, I often forget about my actual priorities and end up stressed out later because I get sucked into things that actually have zero relevance for my day, but completely overload my brain. 

On the mornings I make sure not to touch it, I am so much more centered. I can feel what I actually need instead of what the world wants from me, and I can plan my day without feeling rushed. 

I get to choose intention over autopilot, and in a distracted world, that is so, so valuable. 

3. I nourish myself

We've been told for years to skip breakfast and do intermittent fasting, but especially for women, that may cause more stress to their system than benefits. (Again, everyone is different, so it may work for some, but I feel better with some fuel in the system). In the morning, cortisol is already elevated – that natural wake-up signal I just talked about – and eating something nourishing can help soften that spike, so you can start your day with stable energy instead of anxiety.

The next thing I do most mornings is go outside, for three reasons:

• light exposure (again, syncs your circadian rhythm, and on sunny days you get all that vitamin D goodness)
• connecting with nature (pure nervous system medicine; I'm lucky to live close to a forest and often sleep in my van in beautiful natural areas)
• moving my body (I like to go on short morning walks, in summer often barefoot)

After that, I feel so much more ready to start my day. My body and mind feel awake, but in a way that's balanced, not overstimulated. From there, I can move into work and responsibilities without feeling stressed.

What this routine does for me:

• I wake up gently instead of jolting my nervous system awake.
• I start the day without anxiety or urgent to-dos (whenever I can, I also avoid early morning appointments).
• I get to think more clearly and creatively without early information overload (I get some of my best ideas on my walks).
• I keep my blood sugar more stable (= more consistent energy) and support hormonal balance.
• I feel calmer and more present.

How to create your own soft & slow morning routine

If you've been craving to start your mornings more connected to your feminine energy, here are a few reflections that help you build your own routine (don't just replicate mine – even though I'm happy if it serves as inspiration). 

Ultimately, it comes down to understanding what you crave and what supports your body and lifestyle. A feminine routine is built by listening to your inner signals.

You can use these prompts as journaling questions or something to simply reflect on:

1. How do you want to feel in the morning?
   E.g., calm, energized, slow, joyful, creative
2. What currently disrupts that feeling?
   E.g., your phone, early appointments, not enough sleep, noise
3. What would support that feeling instead?
   E.g., warmth, silence, time, sun, music, meditation, ...
4. What does your body crave in the morning?
   E.g. stretching, water, food, quiet, ...
5. How could you romanticize your mornings a little, make them something you look forward to?
   E.g., drink from your favorite cup, take a few deep breaths, dance to one song, light a candle while you get ready, play with your cat, ...

From there, consider what you might want to add (without adding pressure) or remove from your mornings. Feel free to experiment with different things, until you find what feels good.

If your mornings are chaotic – this still matters

I know many people don’t have the luxury of super slow mornings. Kids wake up early and demand attention, work starts at 7, commutes are long, alarms are necessary, life is full of responsibilities. I get that. Not everyone can wake up and do yoga for an hour or eat fancy breakfast on the porch with sunlight on their face. 

If your schedule is already tight, there's no need to add more pressure to it. A morning routine centered around feminine energy doesn’t have aim for perfection to be supportive. Rather, see if you can go about your morning with just a little bit more intention and presence.

Even the tiniest shifts can create a sense of spaciousness and grounding our nervous systems desperately crave. For example:

• take three slow breaths before getting up
• don't check your phone before you head to work (this actually creates more time)
  
• open the window and inhale the fresh air while the kettle boils
• pack your bag the day before if it helps you stress less
• set an intention while brushing your teeth
• speak to yourself kindly instead of starting your day with self-criticism
  
• hug your loved ones a few seconds longer

Small things count, and stack over time. Just because your reality is busy or messy, doesn't mean you're failing. We can still do a lot within the limitations we face.

Slow mornings set the tone for the day

We often think results come from what we do. But psychologically, something else is going on: the energy we bring to an action changes how our brain and nervous system respond to it. Two people can drink the same cup of tea (one while worried and doomscrolling, the other while breathing slowly and watching steam rise) and they’ll have two completely different physiological experiences. 

How we approach mornings becomes a practice for how we approach life. 

If you approach your morning with urgency, you practice urgency.
If you approach it with calm, you practice calm.

And repetition wires the brain.

That’s why these tiny rituals matter. They teach our nervous system a different message: Hey, you’re safe. There is time. You can soften.

So.. if anything stayed with you from this post, I hope it's this: you don’t need a perfect routine. You don’t need sunrise gym sessions, cold plunges, a 12-step skincare routine, the perfect instagrammeable breakfast.

All I want to encourage you to do is to pay attention to what supports your mental, emotional and physical state (and what doesn't). How can you create little moments of intention? How do you want to meet the day?

Little habits make all the difference, and transform our mornings from something ordinary into something to look forward to.

PS: If you already have a ritual that energizes or grounds you, I’d love to hear about it. Feel free to share it in the comments, maybe it will inspire someone else, too.